It’s a new year and we’re all keen to re-animate our previously failed goals. Can we conjure up the illusive motivation and self-discipline to do it this time? Here’s the thing. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got. If nothing has changed since the last time you decided to get in shape, eat healthy, get up early, meditate every day, etc etc, then you will have the same success as you did last time. There are many theories on the best diet, the best exercise regime, the best process to give up smoking or whatever. While some are without question better that other, to a greater of lesser extent they are all likely to work to some degree. Experts still disagree about whether you should include grains in your diet or about the ideal balance of resistance training to high intensity training, but it won’t take you long to realise that sugar won’t do you any good and any exercise is better than none. Eating thoughtfully with a view to nutrition will gradually lead you to a better diet than most people eat. Even going for a walk and starting with any exercise you know how to do, is a great start. On our Academy website you’ll find articles on such things, written to the best of our knowledge, and more will appear on the Kung Fu Living website over the next few weeks, but is knowledge your real problem? Isn’t the problem, where to find that illusive motivation & self-discipline? The secret silver bullets; those key ingredients that will make it all work for you?
Let’s consider Motivation and Self-Discipline
What motivates you? Do you have a clear and achievable target that excites and drives you? Without it you will give up on the first challenge. You have to create an image of the future you that excites you. Imagine a day in the life of the future you; how you will feel, what you will do, how you will look. Picture yourself doing something ordinary, something you do every day, (that’s easier to imagine) but feeling good as its the new you doing it. Get this image so clear in your mind that it becomes an expectation, not a vague day dream. Re run this visualisation every day and get excited about it. When it becomes an expectation, a reality that exists in your future, you will let nothing will get in your way. Imagine you are heading for the holiday of a lifetime, a holiday you researched, saved for, booked and paid for, a holiday you have been visualising in every detail for months. Now imagine that someone says, you can have this sugar filled, fizzy drink instead, do you stop the car on the way to the airport and turn back for home? Only if you had no expectation of, and no excitement for the holiday. The visualisation of your gaol and the emotional response is the vital and indispensable first step. This will fuel your determination; it will be the destination you are aiming for.
Self-discipline. In Europe we are often hampered by a particular idea of self-discipline that owes a lot to poor translations of the Bible. Bear with me and I’ll explain in simple terms. The Greek (most common language of the time following Alexander’s conquests) New Testament uses a word that we would read as ‘repent’. Its roots are the word metamorphosis and ordinarily implies a complete change. Often used to mean a change of direction, to stop and go the other way. However, a Latin translation (probably written by someone brought up with Roman pagan ideas) renders this word “to do penance” and carries the idea of self-punishment to make up for previous wrongs. This idea has created a particular implication for the idea of self-discipline, as essentially beating yourself up for being bad and this idea permeates European thought. When people think about self-discipline therefore they are liable to unconsciously see it as being hard on themselves, denying themselves. Unless you think such behaviour will keep you out of Hell, how is this motivating or attractive? Let me offer a different view. In the energy centre meditations, (Advanced students will be familiar with this) self-discipline or self-control are associated with the Solar Plexus, a golden energy that is principally about loving or valuing yourself, so self-discipline is associated with self-love. It’s very easy to be disciplined about that which you love. In fact, you won’t even think of it as discipline. When someone really loves their car, they keep it immaculate. When they clean it, they don’t think of it as a discipline because they don’t have to make themselves do it. If you love a sport or an exercise or a particular food it hardly seems like a discipline for you. You might have to make yourself get on with that pointless, boring report, but it’s hardly a discipline to read that novel till two in the morning (you can substitute a computer game if that’s your thing) in fact you might have to discipline yourself to stop. So, you see that it’s about love? If you love something, it will be easy for you to do good things for the object of your love. If you will happily spend a couple of hours cleaning and maintaining your car, being very particular about only putting in the best fuel and oil, but won’t do ten minutes exercise and will happily fuel your body with toxic junk, your problem is not discipline. Your problem is that you don’t love yourself enough! Here is a quick mental exercise for you. Think of the thing that you most hate about yourself. Now ask yourself the question, if my child had this same trait would I stop loving them, or would I love them in spite of it? Learn to be gracious to yourself. Give yourself the same consideration, the same forbearance as you give those you love. I have seen people who appear to hate their own bodies (judging by the way they treat it) but will lavish their attention, time & effort to care for a stray dog in terrible condition from mistreatment. If you are in terrible condition, look at yourself like a stray dog that has been mistreated. Have some sympathy for yourself and out of love, start to take care of yourself, cherish yourself and make it a project to get you back to good health.
Get clear about the gaol. Get excited about the goal.
Stop punishing yourself and start loving yourself.
